


In My Eyes (Steve Rogers is More Than Perfect)

by Tyler_KB



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Steve Rogers, Domestic, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, M/M, Married Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Married Couple, Non-Serum Steve Rogers/Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes | Shrinkyclinks, Peggy Carter as Captain America, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Team Fluff, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 03:45:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18984589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyler_KB/pseuds/Tyler_KB
Summary: Steve Rogers through the eyes of Bucky Barnes.





	In My Eyes (Steve Rogers is More Than Perfect)

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative universe where after Steve crashed the plane, Peggy Carter was given a super soldier serum and became Captain America (meeting Angie who in this universe became a member of the Red Room before defecting).
> 
> Steve was still found and defrosted around 2012 but lost the super soldier serum, so he didn't join the Avengers and declined a position at SHIELD to work at a World War 2 museum and sale his art on the side. It was never released to the public that Steve was found, and the only people who knew were Peggy (who told Angie), Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Phil Coulson, and Tony Stark (who found out through hacking and accidentally told the other Avengers).
> 
> Around the canon Winter Soldier time, Bucky defects from HYDRA after seeing Peggy and ends up seeing Steve on the news after he's caught in a fight during a protest. From there he tracks Steve down (knowing he is important) and Steve (knowing it is Bucky) allows Bucky to live with him and after around six months (during which Bucky was doing therapy after being found out by Peggy) he and Steve begin dating.
> 
> Bucky gets an offer to join the Avengers a year after that and keeps Steve a secret until Steve decides he wants to help, and ends up helping to lead missions with Phil and (occationally) Peggy.
> 
> (Important note: Steve is Autistic before, during, and after the serum, and he is based off me and how Autism presents for me specifically, though obviously with different special intrests and such)

Reading Steve could be really easy.

 

Like when I bring him a new book on World War 2 army strategies and he smiles before having to give the book back so he can flap his hands for a few minutes and make a little happy squeal that always makes me happy to hear, I know he’s really happy. 

 

Or when he sees a story on the news that makes his fists ball up and repeatedly hit his thigh (if it goes on too long or gets too hard I intervene so he doesn’t hurt himself), I know he’s angry.

 

But sometimes, neither me nor Steve know what he is feeling.

 

Like the other day when Sam asked him how he was feeling about a particularly difficult and dangerous mission he was leading with Coulson and Peggy the next day, Steve just shrugged and signed that he didn’t know before walking away.

 

It’s not always bad, I’m normally good at guessing how Steve is feeling even when he doesn’t recognize his own emotions, but on days where he is blank (not quiet or nonverbal, blank), not even Natasha can make even a beginning guess. 

 

‘Blankness’ doesn’t always indicate a bad emotion or that Steve is having a bad day, sometimes on days where it takes me a longer time to determine how Steve is feeling, it’s a great day. 

 

It’s just another mystery Steve and I try to solve together.

 

The Avengers love Steve almost as much as I do.

 

Tony builds him earphones that can amplify needed sounds and block out others. 

 

Bruce drinks tea with him in the morning as they chat about anything they can think of and watch the sunrise, while Hulk allows Steve to ride on his shoulders (when Steve allows it) and train with him (I nearly had a heart attack the first time I walked in on them in the training room, but Steve and Hulk love it so I don’t intervene). 

 

Clint takes Steve on quiet walks around the Compound with Lucky, Clint taking out his hearing aids and Steve wearing his headphones as they strictly sign to communicate. 

 

Natasha teaches Steve to fight, and the two of them go out for lunch every Wednesday at 12:10 sharp as long as Natasha or the Avengers aren’t on a mission. 

 

Thor and Steve talk about war for hours at a time, Steve telling him all about World War 2 and Thor telling Steve about past Asgard battles and military strategies used in each. 

 

Wanda, like Clint, also enjoys walks with Steve, but they normally bring a picnic along and never return without Steve wearing a flower crown Wanda made for him. 

 

Sam, besides me of course, is no doubt Steve’s best friend out of everyone, their friendship began the moment Steve realized Sam Did Not (capitals needed) take any shit from Steve (or anyone) else, and it’s been platonic soulmates since.

 

In the beginning, when I had recently escaped HYDRA and had been rooming with (saved by) Steve in his Brooklyn apartment after seeing him on the news (he had gotten into a fight during a protest) and recognizing him, I kept him a secret from the Avengers, even after I officially joined.

 

They knew he existed, and SHIELD still kept tabs on him, but I carefully omitted that I knew he was still alive.

 

Of course it was Peggy who found out where I’d been living during one of her visits to see Steve with Angie, her wife (officially married as of August 2, 2011). She swears she didn’t report me minus getting me a therapist, but I’m not sure how much I believe her since a year later I am approached by Phil Coulson during the shopping and asked to join the Avengers.

 

I talked to Steve and we decided I would join for now and keep my living and relationship situation a secret until Steve was ready, which happened to be a month later when Steve walked into the Avengers Compound with Peggy and Angie (without telling me might I add so I had not been prepared) and the Avengers officially met Steve Rogers.

 

It took awhile for them to forget about Steve being the ‘first’ Captain America, and the resulting view the media enforced about him throughout the years (which ‘conveniently’ forgot to mention Steve being Autistic).

 

The team got used to Steve’s...Steveness(?) and suddenly everyone knew little bits about Steve that let Steve know how much they cared about him.

 

Tony made sure the music was lowered when Steve worked with him in the lab, Thor learned to recognize what days were good for touch and which he needed to avoid hugs or other kinds of physical contact, Bruce joined Steve in his morning routine of watching the sunrise, Clint was ecstatic about having another person to sign with, and Natasha smiles every time Steve bumped his head against her (his favorite way to show love or appreciation when he can’t verbally express it). 

 

Everything was perfect. Steve helped lead missions, he got to train with Hulk, Natasha, and Peggy, and had enough money and access to any medical needs he could possibly require. The team loved him as much as I do, and for the first time I can remember, Steve was accepted. People listened to him info dump instead of calling him annoying, they didn’t judge his stimming, weren’t offended when Steve had trouble recognizing them, and didn’t yell when he had a sensory issue (which people actually tried to avoid instead of when we were young and people would purposely set him off).

 

We got to hold hands and kiss and cuddle on the couch without worrying about being hurt, and one spring day we actually got married in a small ceremony on the Compound.

 

But the public has a way of finding things out.

 

We had been on the team a few years by that point, everyone was surprised we hid him so long, but eventually the news got out about the ‘first Captain America’ being found and working silently as an Avenger.

 

Steve was distraught, no matter how hard he tried to hide it we knew he was terrified what would happen to us now that the public knew everything, that HYDRA knew.

 

He hid for a week, was nearly completely non-verbal and even then barely signed. 

 

But then he asked for a press conference, and so we planned for one the next day, where Steve was joined by me and the rest of the Avengers, including Peggy, Angie, and Phil.

 

His family.

 

He confirmed himself to be Steve Rogers, the ‘first’ Captain America, but said he dropped the mantel the second Peggy became the real Captain America, and hasn’t touched it since being unfrozen in 2012. He went on to explain that he wasn’t in connection with the Avengers except for Peggy and Angie for years, until I (“my husband, James “Bucky” Barnes” he had said, which made me smile) had joined, in which he did a month later.

 

The audience had questions they could barely contain themselves from asking, anyone could tell, but Steve ignored them if he even knew.

 

“I know you have a view of me formed from what the media has portrayed me as, but if I am now forced to be a officially alive public figure of the Avengers, I want to stop the misconceptions,” he starts, and the audience goes silent as the Avengers and I all look at one another, “I got married on April 16th, 2019 to James “Bucky” Barnes, who I have known nearly my entire life and has loved every part of me since we met, even if he hates when I get into fights. He has been my best friend since I was 8 and I have loved him more than anything since I was 16. I go to therapy every month for PTSD and take medication every morning and night as well as insulin when I need to, I have flashbacks and nightmares and days I can barely get out of bed,” the audience is shocked, but I can’t help but feel anything but pride, “I am also Autistic, I was before the serum, during the time I had it, and after I lost it,” he smiles, “thank you.”

 

The audience erupts in questions, but Steve just puts in the earphones Tony made, grabs my hand, and walks out of the building as we make our way back home.

 

There are days Steve can’t talk and the idea of  wearing jeans makes him want to scream. He refuses to let applesauce anywhere near him, misses verbal directions when he forgets to record so he can write it down later, and would rather pull out his hair than touch velvet.

 

But seeing him smile, waking up and knowing he is next to me (alive, happy,  _ alive _ ), I know we are more than okay, and that nothing could ruin the life we can now have.

 

We are together, with a family we never expected to have, and that's all that matters to us.

**Author's Note:**

> Just because it's not specifically said: in addition to Autism and his canon illnesses (though they aren't focused on as much), Steve also has auditory processing disorder (where he can hear normally but somewhere between the ears and brain the words aren't processed correctly), alexithymia (where you have difficulty recognizing and identifying your emotions), and a level of face blindness/prosopagnosia (where you have trouble remembering faces and recognizing people by their face).


End file.
